@#$# Blankety Blank Men

I wish that I could say that I have been so busy that I have not had time to blog, but that would not be true. What is true is that I am sick of being broke and I have been seriously husband hunting…. That sounded terrible but it is sort of the truth.  I am juggling men like a professional juggler juggles those things that they juggle.

 Meet John. John is a very nice man that owns his own contract with a gas and oil company. He works 6 month contracts, his main home is in Philadelphia. He is cute in his little too quiet way. Very refined. You know how Old Money can do that to a person. He assures me that I do not have to attend the Opera and that I can shop til I drop! My own credit cards, car, travel, or not to travel. I cannot and do not wish to travel with him on his current job which he will be leaving for Africa in the near future. Like in a couple of weeks. He has been a very busy man and this past week it has been hit and miss with the phone calls, texts and emails. Our dates have been nice and serene and he goes all out to make me feel special. John is a very possible candidate for a husband.


 Shawn lives close to me, but it seems of late that he is always working. Plus he is the sole caregiver of his young granddaughter due to an accident in which he lost both his wife and daughter several years ago. At first I was like YEP you want a live in Nanny with Perks. I have taken Shawn very slowly. Lots and lots of questions have risen over the past couple of months when I am juggling him and John. Would I be interested, really interested in sharing my life with a small child again? Oh I can see myself spoiling her rotten. That is not a problem. She is such a sweet little thing, and I do like the fact that he cares for her and does not pawn her off on others when it is convient for him to do. She is very much a part of his life and beginning to be a big part of mine.

 The only big draw back with Shawn is the fact that he does not seem to think that school is that important. If he has to travel then he packs her up and carts her off with him. I am not sure that I like that but I see that he has trust issues when it comes to her. And he is from the Old Country. Italy.  He does not have family here anymore. He owns a beautiful home not far from me and while he is not rich, he does better than okay. He is very romantic, like John, opens car doors and presents me with roses (yellow) and I love the sound of his deep laughter. I like his broken english as well and I love the way that he just is so goofy. He makes me laugh and I always seem to smile when I think of him or get emails or texts for no reason. He is not as refined as John but he is fine.

 He is also confusing. One minute I think that we are doing something and the next, he has jumped a plane and taken off. He does not hesitate when it comes to work. If his company needs him, he is gone. Just like that. I have to  admit that I am not too happy about that. But I also know that our relationship is new and his work has been his lifeline since he lost his wife and daughter. He will be out of state Easter but I expect something fun from him today to arrive. Probably flowers since I told him that candy is not my friend.

Then there is Jack…. OMG what can I say about Jack?

 He too is a work a holic…. As of today, he is also catching a plane. Headed to Maryland for a road job. Jack is Eye Candy. He spent his formative years in Belgium. He isn’t even sure how he went from there to Texas. Well he does, but it isn’t an issue for him. He has family all over the place.

 Jack is a little bit…. flighty, scattered brained and absent-minded, like me so we do have that in common. He is also 9 years younger than I am. That has been an issue for me. He don’t care if I am 60. He has worked hard finishing school and he has finished his Masters and he is very happy. But he is so forgetful. We will be talking, he gets a call and forgets I am on the other line. He forgets to call me when things change, and he forgets a lot of things. But damn it he is just too sexy for his own good.

 Of all of them, I am leaning towards Shawn, but I do not want to give up John or Jack. Why can’t I just have them all? Because our Society says that I can’t and that is that.

 So I have been busy. That is why I am not blogging. John, Shawn and Jack are the best Therapy in the world, I even told my Therapist about them. She now believes that I am troubled I am sure. Commitment Phobic! No she has not said anything but I have seen the looks that she has given me.

 My depression on the whole seems to be better right now. I have so much to do that I really have no time for it. Not that I am not aware of it deep down. I know it is there. It never goes into a deep slumber. I have to work hard to maintain my sense of balance. I have trouble with lack of order these days.

 I also have issues with my help. I am going to have to make a complaint against yet another worker and I really would like to avoid that issue. But the fact is that she is not doing her job properly and does shoddy work. I am not sure if she is on some drugs, or she could be pregnant. The signs are there. Or maybe both, who knows, but something is going on with that girl. For the most part I think that she is just lazy. How hard is it to clean a 1 bedroom efficiency apartment? I am not a slob. I use to be, but I have reformed. I just cannot get down on my hands and knees and scrub like I use to. I do all of the other stuff. I am supposed to let her do it, but she does it so badly that I save myself from the aggravation.

 I gotta go. It is almost time for Shawn to call me. TTYL.


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