2013 Will Be A Year For Me
I know that I am going to play it safe this time around. I sat down and wrote this really super long blog and when I went to publish it, it was gone. I have tried to find it and I can’t and I cannot tell you how many times that this has happend to me so I am going to start blogging in notepad first and then copy and paste it into WordPress. There is no way that I can make this blog as good as that one was so I will not even try, but I will do my best to recap it all.
Ok so Matt and I went out today Christmas Eve Brunch and as we were eating, we began talking about how hard this past year has been for the both of us and we both started listing things that we wanted to do differently in the coming year. We were not making resolutions so much as saying, I want to do this now that the holidays are behind us type of conversation.
For me, I spent last New Year’s Eve in the Emergency Room with my foot. Followed with several trips to my doctor regarding my closing esphogus and had several surgerys and one big major one with that. Then in April I spent 10 days in the hospital having an lower aorta repair and have been healing ever since. I moved from Little Rock to Austin and that situation turned abusive, so I left there and moved to Dallas, then I jumped thru hoops getting into this apartment. Since September I have just been existing, not really going forward as much as I have wanted to.
Depression has been a big factor in my recovery and some days it is just so hard to get out of bed, let alone get out of my apartment and do anything and that really makes me sad because I had such high hopes that I was getting better when I moved here. And for a while I did do great. And I still have great days. Thank God that I am not in a manic depression where I cannot function. I do what I have to do, but maybe I am just a little too much of a homebody on top of my depression.
But I have been thinking of things that I really need to take care of this year starting now and I have set in motion a series of things that I know will be good for me.
First off I found a new Internal Medicine Doctor who works just a couple of miles from me. If I cut thru the college then it is with in walking distance which is good for me. I am impressed with her credentials and she is a she. I am really so tired of Male doctors at the moment that do not understand certain things that I have issues with, such as chronic yeast infections, phases of menopause and so forth. Sure they are educated, but she is a woman just a few years older than myself and she will know what it truely feels like to have a yeast infection, or how annoying it is to wake up in the middle of the night soaked in sweat, and how it feels to have these massive mood swings.
I talked to my last dr. and I told him that I really believe that my depression is linked to being menopausal and he said no that my depression had nothing to do with my menses. I am sure that he is wrong. Does he really think that it does not make me depressed to have to get up and change my sheets and take a shower at 3 in the morning because of night sweats? Does he know how depressing it is to have all of these issues and listen to him blow me off like I am some kind of ninny? I never really had a good relationship with this doctor. Not from day one, but I was in Dallas and he was the closest in my area that took my insurance at the time, so he is who I started with, but it is much better to have someone close to me. It was hard getting back and forth to Dallas all of the time.
Another thing that I like about her is that she is able to put me in touch with the rest of the people that I need to be with. Eye and feet, my therapist and so on. I have talked to some of the nurses here who have told me that they have not had much contact with her since she is new and just started accepting new patients but from what they have observed she wins hands up. So that was a good referral. I do some light physical training here but Angie, one of the nurses thinks that I need intense physical therapy and she said that I made a good choice.
So I have covered the Doctor issue so I will move on.
My grand daughter, the lovely but spoiled rotten little Princess that she is, (can you say daddy’s girl on top of all that?) broke her daddys heart last night. This man never cries. He is the stoic Marine and all that, and he is always saying to Laurie that the kids never get into anything that they shouldn’t because he makes sure that they are with in his site at all times. Well last night he gave them a snack, got them ready for bed and sat down. Adrian was playing a game and Catherine Marie was looking at a book. David admits that he saw her get up and go hide behind the chair. She calls it her reading corner, so he didn’t think anything about it.
After a while she came and crawled up into his lap and she had gotten sissors and had cut her hair. She cut it so bad that it was gapped at the scalp. All over her head. Now she had hair down to her butt, all lush brown curls. Her daddy called Laurie at work and she said that he broke down and cried like a baby. The first time she had ever seen or heard him cry. Laurie said that it is cut so badly that they are going to have to take her to see what can be done, but at this point, it is so bad that she might have to have it buzzed. Which makes the situation so much worse.
I told Laurie, hair will grow back, but thankfully she didnor’t hurt herself with the sissors. And another reason for our phone call today is that they still have not received their christmas package from me and my sisters. So it looks like they will have it on Wednesday from us. But Alex got his package today and we were worried about it because of the massive snow that they had up there, but Matt got a call awhile ago and they got the package so that is good.
January is also a time that I am having all of my top teeth finished. I have 5 left and they will be pulled in a couple of weeks. Then we will start on the bottoms then I will be fitted for dentures. I will really be glad when this is finished because I am having such a hard time with my mouth getting infected.
Also I have started furniture shopping. I found my table and chairs, a bistro style that I fell in love with. It was over 500.00 here but I went online and found a store in Dallas where I can get the same table for 199.00. I will just have to have my sister or her husband pick it up and bring it to me, which will be a lot cheaper than the delivery price.
Also I need a new sofa. I am sick of the one that I have. It is really a cheap piece of furniture, so I am looking for what I want. I am taking my time and getting what I want. I do not want what is the cheapest so I might have to do some heavy duty saving and that is alright too.
I ordered my comforter for my room. Once I get it and decorate my bedroom the way that I want it, I truely think that I will sleep better at night. I consider my bedroom my relaxing space so I want it as comfortable as possible.
The comforter is not a blue or a green or even a traditional teal. It is an odd color and has embroidered chocolate swirls running thru it. It comes with 3 pillows, 2 shams and a skirt. I have wanted this comforter since I seen it and finally ordered it. I can hardly wait for it to get here. I have some gorgeous white lace sheers that will be stunning with it. I am thinking of accenting in white.
Well I know that my last blog had a lot more in it, but I am going to get off of here for a while and rest before dinner.
Merry Christmas to everyone, and a big thank you to all that wrote to me, emailed me and called me during my bad time with my last episode of depression. I feel stronger now and hopefully I will get better every day.
Oh last of all. I am dating again. Nothing serious and all fun. Casual dinner dates, a few glasses of wine, great conversations and a little fun thrown in. I don’t want anything serious and neither do the new men in my life… A special hello to Bobby, your the best, Herb you are just too sweet and Duke…. There is nothing that I can say about you that would do you justice…. TTYL
2013 Will Be A Year For Me